by Nomon Tim Burnett
December 15, 2009
Responding Gate
A (more or less) monthly letter from Spiritual Director Nomon Tim Burnett
December 2009
Past Issues available at http://www.redcedarzen.org/newsletter.html
Dear Sangha,
We had our first snow of the year yesterday. The world cloaked again in clean, bright white. When it really came down for a while in the early evening Janet and I went outside marveling at how bright it made the formerly drab and dreary winter landscape. We are such creatures of the eyes, of visible light, aren't we? How it looks is how it is to us. And suddenly it looks so very beautiful so the world is very beautiful.
I have to admit I was starting to indulge in a preference about the weather, it's been below freezing for a few weeks here. The first week or so was sunny and bright during the day but lately it's been not just cold but gray, dark, cloudy. Probably no one's favorite weather and I was starting to complain a bit about it to myself. What crummy weather. And I really had completely forgotten that that exact form of crummy weather, damp and gray with temperatures in the upper 20's (about -2 or -3 for our Canadian friends) are also the conditions for snow. It's not like I didn't know that exactly and the weather reports were predicting snow too, but the actual snow falling and transforming the world still took me utterly by surprise.
In the usual world of preferences and desires we say things like, "the snow is the silver lining of the horrid gray frozen weather." Operating with the world of desire we try to convince ourselves that even things we dislike are connected to things that we do like and this lessens the sting of how frequently we're confronted by things we dislike doesn't it? But still there's a sense of constant struggle and friction. A sense of a great balance scale in the mind into which we hope to put at least enough desired experiences in the positive balance pan to offset the experiences that keep popping up by dark magic in the negative side of the scale. Bad weather, broken down cars, people not being nice to us, death, wars, murders: all kinds of things seem to just pop up over there, unbidden, tilting us to the negative into dislike and suffering. And so in the world of preferences there a sense of an ongoing struggle to gather up enough silver linings and things we like to counterbalance all of that isn't there?
But in the world of emptiness and connection, the world we touch in our Zen practice, we learn that it's possible to see beyond preferences, or maybe see under them and through them. To see instead of me in the center that there is nothing in the center, just an open receptive space, and things unfold according to conditions. Of the many causes and conditions we can see that our actions and impulses towards action are but one small part. A complex swirling round of cause and effect that we will never fully see but we can see bits of it if we quiet the mind and look. If we can allow ourselves to be fully intimate with the world and just feel what we feel more deeply there is always less resistance. Preferences are less compelling and life has more ease. Joys arrives in all kind of unexpected ways.
A famous Zen story comes to mind:
Dizang asked Fayan, "Where are you going?"
Fayan said, "Around on pilgrimage."
Dizang said, "What is the purpose of pilgrimage?"
Fayan said, "I don't know."
Dizang said, "Not knowing is most intimate."
Two Zen masters from long ago in the archetypal "golden age" of Zen in China are having a conversation about practice. Fayan is leaving the predictable, if strenuous, life of the monastery to go off on pilgrimage and Dizang is encouraging him to use his time well by asking him what his intention is. "Where are you going?" We all need people in our lives to ask us this - to ask us in a loving and supportive way, "why are you doing that?" To bring up the mystery in all of our choices and actions. Is it just following some preference or desire or is there a deeper purpose here?
And Fayan famously replies, "I don't know." This is not the ordinary "I don't know" where he just forgot to think about it or never got around to reading up about pilgrimage and is kind of clueless about what he's doing. This is a more intimate "I don't know" - the "I don't know" of just humbly showing up and allowing the world to present itself as it will. This is the "I don't know" of stepping outside of preference, of sloughing off desire and rejection. And literally the weather would have been a big part of a 9th century Chinese monk's pilgrimage practice and they would have been walking through all kinds of weather. Plenty of practice with preferences there. Can you just experience the weather without having a preference about it? Do you like this weather? "I don't know, but I am allowing myself to really feel what I'm feeling."
And his friend Dizang supports him in this, "not knowing is most intimate." It's not that we forget that we like warm sunny days with a mild breeze. It's that with practice we learn that we don't have to let our preferences block us from feeling the full scope of our life. The sunny days of life and the cold winter days and everything in between. And as we let ourselves feel more fully the breadth of life we are less scared, less removed, less resistant and also we are surprised. True wonder is there. The grim cloudy frozen days created snow. Snow - what a wonder - I didn't really know snow fully until this moment. How beautiful! The practice of stepping through preferences to intimate connection with what is the path of joy even when things are dire. This coming weekend I am scheduled to officiate at a funeral for our sangha member Marc Livingston - what is death? Don't know. What will I be feeling, what will the family be feeling? Don't know. Not knowing is the most intimate. I hope that I will be able to work with this teaching then and at all times and release myself from my self from the world of preferences and desires and enter into the stream of what is. A bird is singing outside right now as I write this - a little bird at first light in the frozen world of snow. How wonderful!
Winter 2010 Practice Period: January 21 - March 7
The full schedule along with the three events which do require registration are all online now at http://www.redcedarzen.org. For your convenience I will also paste in the information further down in this newsletter. There is a direct link to the practice period page in the events section given on the homepage. Practice period is really a great way to enter into this way of practice with a lot of support. Even if you aren't local to Bellingham you are invited to participate as best you can.
Shuso Reizan Bob Penny
Reizan ("spirit of the mountain") Bob Penny is preparing for his term as shuso. The shuso, or head student, is a kind of central pivot point of practice period. He or she takes on special teaching responsibilities like teaching a class and giving their first formal talks, but mainly the shuso fully shows up and sets the tone for practice. And equally importantly having a shuso gives us as a sangha the opportunity to support that person. It's a really wonderful exchange and mutual empowerment. And each time we do this there is a kind of magical emergence. The sangha grows up a little more and the person sitting the shuso's seat blossoms a little more into this wonderful life of intimacy and not-knowing. So I hope we will all take advantage of the practice period and practice with our shuso in the way that is right for us.
One of Bob's many contributions over the years to our sangha life has been conceiving of and steadily maintaining the annual 3-day Mountains and Rivers backpacking retreat we've done every September for the last 10 or 11 years. We've always had an opening night practice for that retreat including sangha members not going out at Bob's place in the country under a little cedar grove he has there (even before we changed the name of the sangha to Red Cedar Zen Community!) and during that night we've tried various ways of bringing up the dharma of that pilgrimage practice of silent hiking and immersion in the wilderness to send off the hikers in good style. I've given talks, Bob gave an essay about Thoreau one time, we've just sat, and so on. This last September we tried something different which was really wonderful and just right. Bob offered a poetry reading - reading us poems he'd written over the years about entering into the mystery of life and mountains and all of it. Please imagine you are sitting in the dark under the trees as you read here four of the poems with introductory remarks from Bob which he read that night.
These poems were read on the opening evening of the annual Mountains and Rivers retreat in the cedar grove at Hawk Meadow Farm. At this point of the evening it was completely dark in the woods where we sat, and many of the poems were selected for their relationship to the night, sleep and dreams, and the process of waking up.
The Tent - I wrote this poem while in Florida, obviously camping out near some construction site. This was during a long period of time on the road when I had a regular practice of zazen in my tent each morning. The poem utilizes all the words of the first stanza in various recombinations for each of the successive stanzas - in essence, four reflections of a single moment.
THE TENT by Bob Penny
In the dream morning I awaken
to raven calls.
Outside the tent the bulldozers whine and rev.
Through the small opening of the flap
I see transparent sky.
In that moment I don’t know where I am.
-------
The raven calls in the tent,
whining through the opening.
My dream sees the morning as a small moment,
transparent, outside. The bulldozers
flap the sky and rev into an awakening
and I know I am not here.
-------
The opening of the morning
flapping out through the tent, revolves and calls
in the sky. I know
ravens and bulldozers, small and transparent.
A whining in that moment of the dream
awakens, and I see that I am.
-------
I don’t know the transparent
dream which I see through.
The raven, the bulldozer, the tent,
Flap the morning past my small opening.
Outside I whine, I rev, I awaken.
In that moment where I am the sky calls.
Winter Rain - This was written during one of my first winters at Hawk Meadow, after having been away from the northwest for many years. It is basically a recognition of homecoming. Living here we can see that rain has many qualities and moods. Winter rain is distinct from rain at other seasons. This is a simple ode to the kind of rain we live with through the dark months of the year, and how it is essential to our lives in this place.
WINTER RAIN by Bob Penny
Where have you been?
Across the swirled sea,
down to it’s south shore
and back?
In the dark tonight
you come,
drifting over the forest,
so long away.
Now you fall
without question.
You came when you needed to
bringing me home.
The Lost Trail - This poem may require a slight explanation. The shades of imagery are subtle, and the action is not fully explained. It is about some hypothetical time when the bombs are about to drop - where would you go, and what would you do? If there was time, heading to the high country, far away from the madness, might be a choice. But what would you be leaving behind, and what would you be going towards? In this poem you will see a description of me practicing one of the first skills of woodcraft my father taught me while out on hikes together - look behind frequently to get the view looking backwards fixed in your mind. Then finding your way back becomes easier because things will look familiar.
THE LOST TRAIL by Bob Penny
All day in the woods
I turned often,
watching my backtrail,
noting the look of things
the other way around,
a way to know where I’m going
and how to get back.
Now I kick dirt
into the coals, and they dim
and glow through.
Their radiating heat is a shadow
of something larger.
I water the dark ground
with the last of my cup,
and the last dark cities have lost themselves
into cloud covered valleys
of the far Northwest.
Do they wait in a paralyzed silence
for bursts of light
coming over the northern hemisphere?
Would it matter then
about going back?
Even the easy breeze,
grazing evenings up the slopes of snow,
would carry deaths disfiguring touch.
Night comes close,
the stars fall into position,
and a cricket by the melted stream
shouldered against a dark mountain is
alone and perfect.
Everything
that might be hunched in the pine shadows
listens with me.
Passing a Log Truck ... This poem was chosen because it is about a bridge on the road we travel each year to our hike trailhead. Getting to and from the back country is part of the journey, and sometimes the reentry process from the wilderness can provide the same kind of startling contrasts and sensitivity to sights and smells that one experiences when first returning from a meditation retreat.
PASSING A LOG TRUCK ON
A NARROW BRIDGE CROSSING
THE NOOKSACK RIVER by Bob Penny
First Fall day
and the warm breeze flows
in my car window.
Up ahead
I see it coming
swaying under a big load
- Old Growth-
only three or four huge logs
hanging on the trailer
like when I was a kid.
Now they’re back in there
for the last ones.
The diesel cloud is going to engulf me.
I hug the right railing
this guy coming straight down.
In the final instant I actually flinch,
yanking my elbow
off the windowsill -
huge knobbed tires grinding bits of gravel,
a loose log chain jangles
and the blue
smoke whisks through,
clears out to blue sky
over the river -
and from the moist forest floor,
fresh cut, trailing behind,
the fragrant smell of fir.
Emerging Everyday Zen Sanghas
I'm glad to mention that Martha Abelson and Ruth Ozeki on Cortez Island are working on offering dharma on that island in the northern Gulf Islands up the inside passage. Beautiful place. Martha has built a zendo onto her house called ShinKaiji (Deep Ocean Temple) and Ruth has organized a sutra copying class and sittings at the Whaletown Institute at her place. If you're up that way check it out.
And to the south of Bellingham, Laurel Vogel is working towards offering regular Soto style sittings near her home at the southern end of Whidbey Island. Check out her new website:
And meanwhile in Seattle, Seattle Soto Zen is working with priest Jeff Kelley to offer more opportunities for practice. They had their first sesshin with oryoki to celebrate rohatsu (Buddha's enlightenment) on December 5th. We also sat sesshin on the 5th in Bellingham and it was wonderful to realize we were both joining so many other Zen sanghas throughout the world in sitting rohatsu. Sandy Taylor meanwhile, founder of Seattle Soto Zen, has moved to the SF Bay Area to be near her daughter and grandchildren and has been participating in Everyday Zen events there.
Graduation Celebration with Marti - Saturday December 19th 8:00am
Help us celebrate Marti Bartlett's completion of her B.A. in accounting during the potluck breakfast after early morning zazen.
Teaching in "Second Life" - Saturday December 19th 1pm
I've been invited to appear at the virtual Zen temple "Kannonji Zen Retreat" in the interactive (3-D!) virtual world of Second Life.
Second Life is free to use but one does have to spend some time creating one's character (an "avatar") and learning how to move around. The organizers created my avatar, I'm called Nomon Zenfold there it seems. Several significant American teachers have taught there so I'm in very good company. I'll let you know how it goes and if you figure out how to show up do say hi if you can figure out how!
You have to download some software and you probably need a fast internet connection.
This internal link might be
a way to get there and I'm sure there's a way to search for Kannonji.
secondlife://Snowlion%20Mountain/205/93/21
I'll be giving a short talk, leading zazen (virtual zazen?!), and answering questions about practice. The temple is quite beautiful in a video game kind of way. All very impressive and interesting. Dharma gates are boundless….
Saying Goodbye to Marc Livingston Sunday March 20th, 2pm
I'll be officiating at Marc's funeral this Sunday at 2pm at the Labor Hall by Village Lighting at 1700 S. State.
The sangha has been invited by Marc's wife Piper to attend.
Obituary for Marc is here:
http://www.westfordfuneralhome.com/obituary_info.asp?obituaryID=1245
5th Wednesday Sangha Conversations Return Wednesday December 30th, 7pm
Our first Sangha Conversation on the 5th Wednesday evening of September went very well. After zazen we went around the room and spoke on the theme of working with the Zen forms in our practice. Much appreciation and a great diversity of feeling and opinion were expressed in beautifully clear and respectful ways. We plan to continue this practice every 5th Wednesday evening. There will be a theme as a starting place but all are welcome to come and simply speak from the heart. The next Conversation will be on December 30th. Theme TBA but will include the opportunity just to check in and bring up ideas and wishes as well as following up on our forms discussion from last time.
The Turning of the Year Thursday December 31st, 7pm
Ring in the new year, literally, with one period of zazen, and a ceremony of bowing and ringing the big bell 108 times and a fire purification practice. Burn off all of you defilements and emerge clean and pure for 2010 with sangha and love. (How's that for a promo?). As befits our temperaments we'll end by 8:30pm or so and the hardy partiers among us can go on to party until midnight while the rest of us go to bed.
Volunteer Thank Yous
Thank you to Don McClary, Building Workgroup, for improving the mail slot security in the lobby.
Thank you to Edie Norton and Karen Cook for hemming the curtains in the meeting room.
Thank you again to everyone who participated and helped out with out one-day sesshin for rohatsu. It went really well and I'm so happy we are able to do that practice together and offer it to the community.
Thank you to Michael Ealem who's been tending the altars as chiden.
Thank you to Kathy McKenna for initiating improved communication and orientations for new members.
Volunteer Positions Open
There are several ongoing jobs open. Sometimes we suffer a bit because of how open ended and endless these can appear to be. I am starting an initiative at the Board level to try to narrow them down a little. These jobs really should be do-able in an hour or so per week tops though they do vary.
And please note the Saturday morning annual meeting being hosted by the Board on January 16th after morning practice to get organized for the coming year. A great time to meet sangha members, find out how the sangha is organized and see what might be a good fit if you'd like to volunteer for the sangha.
* Clerk position - ongoing, see Finance Workgroup site (http://sites.google.com/site/redcedarzendocs/w/finance/clerk)
* Website help - for a skilled html and/or php person. To help with various tasks and/or to give dharmahall.redcedarzen.org a facelift
* Welcome workgroup - people able to come early to our regular noon and Weds. eve. sittings to welcome new people, answer questions and give orientation (training will be offered soon)
* Outreach workgroup - postering help, a few times a year
* Building Workgroup - looking for a new Building Manager to rotate in, it's an admin job coordinating subletters, not a construction / maintenance position. Really could be called "Rentals Manager". Someone who's reasonably responsive by phone and email and can get down to the Hall and meet with prospective renters. Sounds big but still just an hour or two an month generally.
* Library Workgroup - ongoing need for helper to check in and shelve books - training available
* Board of Directors 2 positions - The Board has been working to define it's meeting times and responsibilities and I'm glad to say that under the leadership of Board President Jeff McKenna Board work is becoming a lighter and more joyful task. The Board is really feeling like a mutually supportive group that gets together to consider the big picture of the sangha. We have been successfully avoiding trying to do all of the work of the sangha lately - prioritizing better and routing some items instead to appropriate workgroups and people. The total obligation of Board work seems to be two meetings per month, each just over 1 hour, some email responding to issues and follow up, and something like 1-2 hours per month of various tasks. It's not as heavy an obligation as "serving on the Board" (with a capital B) might sound.
If you've been a member for at least a year and can help we are looking for a Vice-President (who supports our outreach and welcoming efforts) and a Treasurer (who supports our financial awareness and building management efforts). Please do consider this, it's a way to serve to the sangha and the requirements are not as lofty as one might think. Just a willingness to work together on behalf on the sangha.
Please talk to Jeff McKenna at 966-3414 or pjmck@earthlink.net if you would like to explore the possibility of serving on the Board now or at a future time. It may also be possible to share a Board position if there is a sangha friend you work well with.
Note also that Brian Davidson has agreed to try staying on the Board as he enters Graduate School this Winter. He may in the end need to pull back but is giving it a whirl which we are grateful for as he does a wonderful job keeping the Board organized and the sangha informed of Board doings at the Board Secretary.
upcoming events
Red Cedar Zen Community invites you to participate in any of the following upcoming events. For more information about these events, including online registration, visit our web site at www.redcedarzen.org.
December 2009
Graduation celebration for Marti
Saturday December 19, 8:30am - 9:00am
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Celebrate with Marti her graduation from WWU in Accounting
Funeral Service for Marc Livingston
Sunday December 20, 2pm - 4pm
Labor Hall (1700 S. State)
Funeral for sangha member Marc Livingston. Tim will officiate.
New Year's Ceremony
Thursday December 31, 7:00pm - 8:30pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Ring in the New Year with 108 rings on the bell, a fire/purification ceremony, meditation and chanting.
January 2010
Annual Sangha Business & Volunteering Meeting
Saturday January 16, 9:00am - Noon
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Annual all-sangha meeting to assess the current organization, membership, and fiscal health of the organization hosted by the Board of Directors.
January 21 - March 7: Winter 2010 Practice Period
Red Cedar Dharma Hall & Vancouver
Our annual winter practice period. List of events below, details on the website. Registration needed for the class and the three retreats.
Practice Period Opening Ceremony
Thursday January 21, 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Open our winter practice period together with zazen and ceremony.
Weekend Retreat with Zoketsu Norman Fischer
Friday January 22, 7:00pm - Sunday January 24, 4:00pm
Vancouver, B.C.
A weekend retreat hosted by Mountain Rain Zen Community in Vancouver.
Saturday mornings in Practice Period
Saturday mornings during Practice Period Jan 30 - Feb 27
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Saturday morning zazen during practice period is every Saturday.
Shuso' Class: On Grief with Reizan Bob Penny
Two sessions: Thursdays 7pm, Saturdays 9am
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Shuso Reizan Bob Penny offers a class on practicing with grief in Zen practice and life.
Four class meetings:
Thursday session: Thursdays 7pm - 9:30pm. Feb 4, Feb 11, Feb 18, Feb 25
Saturday session: Saturdays 9am - 10:30am. Jan 30, Feb 6, Feb 20, Feb 27
See the site for details and suggested books.
Introduction to Zen with Seishu John Wiley
Sunday January 31, 9:00am - 1:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
An introduction to Zen practice at Red Cedar Dharma Hall.
Tea with the Shuso
Schedule with the shuso
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Have tea with Shuso Reizan Bob Penny
Mid-Practice Period Meeting
Wednesday February 10, 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Zazen and check-in about practice period
Full Day Sesshin with Reizan Bob Penny
Saturday February 13, 6:00am - 9:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
A full day sesshin in the middle of the practice period. All welcome regardless of attendance at other practice period events.
Buddha's Parinirvana Ceremony
Wednesday February 17, 7:00pm - 9:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Celebrate the passing of Buddha in this moving ceremony.
3-Day Sesshin with Zoketsu Norman Fischer
Thursday March 04, 7:00pm - Sunday March 07, 3:00pm
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
A three day formal Zen retreat with Zoketsu Norman Fischer and shuso Reizan Bob Penny closes the Practice Period. Oryoki meals. Thursday 7pm - Sunday 3pm.
Shuso's Dharma Inquiry Ceremony
Sunday March 07, 11:00am - 12:00am
Red Cedar Dharma Hall
Join us in celebrating Dharma with the shuso and closing the practice period. The whole sangha and all practice period students warmly invited.
June 2010
Samish Sesshin 2010
Friday June 18, 4:00pm - Saturday June 26, Noon
Samish Island
2010 Sesshin at Samish Island
Resident Priest Nomon Tim Burnett has been a student of Zoketsu Norman Fischer since 1987 when he was a resident at San Francisco Zen Center's Green Gulch Farm. After sitting practice periods at Green Gulch and Tassajara Zen Monastery, Tim helped found the Bellingham Zen Practice Group in 1991. Tim was ordained as a Zen Priest by Norman in June, 2000. Like his teacher, Tim is interested in the possibility of deep and complete practice by lay people.
A person of wide-ranging professional interests, Tim has been a botanist, elementary schoolteacher, writer, and computer programmer. In addition to his work at the Resident Priest of Red Cedar Zen Community, Tim works as a software developer.